When People Have Opinions about your Love Life

Being a single woman surrounded by the opinions of others can feel like standing alone on a football field, while a stadium of people shout at you what they think you should be doing. From Instagram dating gurus to the old lady at your church, it seems everyone has a solution for you.

"Put yourself out there more!"

"Just be content!"

"When you stop looking, that's when he'll show up!"

"Try this speed dating event!"

"My friend met her guy on this dating app!"

While it can be annoying and overwhelming, the thing is, they aren't all wrong.

Some people do need to leave their house more and meet people. Some people do need to stop obsessing and striving and just wait on God more. But there's not a one-size-fits-all, 3-step plan for the woman who wants to be married. She is on her own journey with God and it's not going to look exactly like anyone else's.

Whatever God is leading you to do when it comes to your love life or your singleness, you don’t need to defend it to anyone. Just follow His leading.

God is your guide. He knows whether you need to stop striving and let Him bring a husband to you (and yes, He could just bring him to your front door if He wanted to). God knows if you need to step out of your comfort zone and become more visible, so that He can connect you with a godly man (yes, He does use dating apps and online services to write godly love stories). God knows if you need to put the thought of marriage out of your mind altogether and serve Him (and He will give you the grace needed to fulfill that calling if it's His will for you).

I've known ladies that felt God was leading them to try a dating app or to go to a conference to meet guys. I've known ladies that felt God was leading them to lose weight because it was a hindrance to attracting the type of guy they wanted. I've known ladies on the mission field where finding a husband looked pretty much impossible - but they didn't have to do a thing, they just served God where He had them and the Lord brought a husband straight to them.

So let me encourage you to tune into what your good and loving Heavenly Father is saying to you. Does He want you to take a step that will increase your chances of meeting a guy? Does He want you to wait patiently where you are? If He's leading you in a specific direction, trust Him and follow where He leads.

People may not understand your decisions, but that's okay. If you feel you're supposed to wait where you are, others might tell you that you aren't putting yourself out there enough. If you feel you're supposed to take an action step like making an Ad on Saved Singles, people might accuse you of taking matters into your own hands or not "waiting on the Lord."

People have all kinds of opinions about the love life of a single woman. But the only opinion that really matters is God's. Are you doing what you believe He wants you to do? Then you can do it confidently. No need to defend yourself or your decisions to those who aren't in your position. One answer should be sufficient: "I believe this is what God is leading me to do in this season, and I'm trusting Him."

I would love to hear in the comments what you think God might be leading you to do this year! If you're not entirely sure how God is leading, may I recommend taking a personal retreat? It's a get away with you and Jesus where you can seek His face about the coming year. I've made a free guide that will show you how to do it! You can download it here.