The Remedy for "Wedding Pains" (that ache you feel watching a wedding)

Weddings were a mixture of emotions for me as a single woman. I was excited for the friend starting this new season, grateful God had given her the desire of her heart, and even hopeful that one day that could be me. But I also felt what I call, "wedding pains"... a deep ache as I longed for what she was experiencing. A cascade of the same old questions filling my mind again: "Will I ever get married?" "Does God have a man for me?" "Why her and not me?" "Am I doing something wrong?"

When my turn to walk the aisle finally came, I assumed that having a "forever wedding date" would cure me of my mixed emotions when attending weddings. But to my surprise, that didn't turn out to be true. I found myself sitting in a wedding next to my husband, feeling the "wedding pains" again. Only now instead of a deep ache for my person, I felt a twinge of something else- was it, jealousy? A remembrance of that "just married" feeling and a longing to have it again? A wish to go back and relive those moments of excitement and sweetness? Was I comparing my wedding to hers and wishing that mine had been more romantic, or that I had as many bridesmaids as she did? Whatever it was, it alarmed me how the vortex of discontentment was still just a few self-pitying thoughts away, as it was in the days when I was longing for a wedding of my own.

Then somewhere in the middle of the ceremony, the Lord pulled my thoughts out of the vortex and I realized: This is basically a play depicting my relationship with Christ. 

As I sat there taking in the beauty of my friend’s big day, I started to look  for ways that the ceremony symbolized different aspects of my Christian life. As a result,  that wedding blessed me more than any wedding ever had. 

The chapel was electric with anticipation as the last bridesmaid took her place and the music quieted. A few breathless seconds passed before the processional song started, and the audience stood to their feet. The back doors swung open to reveal a glowing bride, her white dress shining in the magical haze of the evening sun as it streamed into the darkened chapel. As I gazed at her, the first parallel came to mind:

“She’s dressed in white, and so am I!”   

My heart took a leap of joy as that dress reminded me of my own spiritual bridal raiment, which by God’s grace is white as snow -  washed “white as snow” in the blood of the Lamb (Isaiah 1:18). A tear came to my eye as I recalled how Christ’s precious blood made it possible for me to come before Him pure and clean - not by my own righteousness, but by His. 

The bride continued down the aisle, step by step, slowly and steadily, until she reached the end. It occurred to me that although she walked slowly, her journey to the altar was over in the blink of an eye.

“My life is a vapor.” I thought. “My journey through life will be over before I know it.” 

As she walked, I noted how her eyes never left the face of her groom. A cry went up from heart:

“Lord, help me never take my eyes off You! May I walk through life gazing at You, adoring You, making You my one ambition.” Sometimes life creeps by painfully, slowly. But when we focus our eyes on the Groom at the end of the aisle, the One we love and adore and will spend eternity with, suddenly it seems so short. This journey called life will be over in the blink of an eye. 

As the bride reached the end of the aisle and stood face to face with her groom, I imagined that moment in eternity when I will see my greatest Love face to face. Just as the gap of separation had finally closed between my friend and her bridegroom, I imagined how wonderful it will be when the physical gap finally closes between myself and the Lord - when my faith will become sight. The phrase that came to mind was simply:

 “At last!” 

What a moment that will be... when at last the final stop of the journey up the aisle is taken, the veil is lifted, and I am no longer physically separated from the One I love, but will be able to see Him with my own eyes and worship at His very feet! 

At last!

The couple joined hands before the preacher and made vows to each other, and I saw Christ’s love for me on display in the laying down of lives, the giving of themselves for the other, the forsaking of all others to cleave only to each other. My own exchange played out in my mind as I saw the parallels in my own relationship with God: “Lord, as You laid down Your life for me, so I have laid down my life for You. You have given me all of You - not only Your salvation, but Your strength, Your love, Your empowering grace, Your victory over sin - and I give You all of myself to do with as You will. Jesus You were forsaken on the cross for me, and so I will forsake worldly pleasures to follow You.”

Dear single sister, a wedding is a play. It’s a depiction of a true story, the greatest love story of all time. Christ is the Hero, and if you’re born again, then you area a part of His Bride. The next time you go to a wedding, I challenge you to think of it in light of that fact. I challenge you to see Christ’s love for you in every detail. Let God minister to your heart through what it symbolizes. Focus on the spiritual rather than the physical. Dwell on what you have in Christ, not on what you are without.

Sis, you will be blessed by the next wedding you attend if you’ll remember that it’s just a picture of what you already have. All earthly weddings are just a depiction of the real deal. All earthly love stories are just pointing to the grandest love story of all. No earthly marriage celebration can hold a candle to the marriage supper of the Lamb awaiting you in heaven. If you’re born again, then my friend, you are already a bride. You are already walking step by step up the aisle, closing the gap between you and your Love, dressed white as snow in the righteousness of Christ, and blessed abundantly with His love and favor. Keep your eyes on the Bridegroom until you see Him face to face. 

P.S. Are you ready to finally understand HOW to walk in contentment with Christ and keep your heart and mind from being at the mercy of "the vortex" I mentioned above? Then sis, you need to work through my course! Get the Course