How I learned to actually be satisfied in Jesus, even as I longed for dreams to come true.

Growing up I listened to a steady diet of Patch the Pirate musical audio adventures (any other Patch babies out there?!). One of the songs with a particularly catchy tune has these words... "All that I need is my faith in Jesus, All that I need is my home above. All that I need is my Father's mercy, All that I need is my Savior's love." This and many other songs and hymns have told me all my life that Jesus is truly all I need. But I began to seriously doubt that as my desire to fall in love and be a help meet grew stronger and stronger. Without realizing it, I had started to think of my heart in compartments... there was the place for God, the place for a husband, the place for my family and friends... and it seemed so unfair that God might ask me to live without ever having a man to fill that husband-shaped hole that was yearning to be filled.

My life changed when I actually started believing in my heart what I had heard my whole life about Jesus - that He was all I needed, and enough to satisfy my every longing. I knew that He was the Living Water from which I could drink and never thirst, and the Bread of Life from which I could eat and never hunger. I knew He was, well, everything. Yet I didn't live like He was.

Because I didn't believe Jesus was really enough (and more than enough!) for me, I didn't experience Him as being enough. I didn't really trust that He could fill all my longings, so I didn't experience Him filling them. I didn't really believe that His love was better than any man's could be and the only Love that satisfies, so I didn't experience His love as all-satisfying. That is, until I made the conscious choice to believe that He could be those things for me. One day I came across Psalm 107:9: "For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness." Instead of skimming it quickly and giving it only a few seconds of thought, I stopped, read it again, and made a decision to believe what it said. "'He satisfieth the longing soul....' I have a longing soul. This verse says that He can satisfy it. Lord, I'm going to believe it."

I took a step of faith and praised God for satisfying my longings, even thought I wasn't experiencing that satisfaction yet: "God, I have so much longing in my heart. Thank you that all my desire is before you. You see my desires for a husband, for marriage and family, for someone to have and to hold. I praise you that You will satisfy my longing soul with Your goodness, with Yourself. I praise You that You are all I need for satisfaction and fulfillment, whether my desires for marriage ever come to pass or not."

As I began to praise God for Who He said He was, the goodness of God began to fill up my heart. Tears came to my eyes as I experienced what it was like to actually rest in His promise for the first time: He truly was enough to satisfy my longing heart and soul. God so filled my heart, that His goodness overflowed into all the places I had carved out and designated for other things: a husband, children, a white picket fence... even the book I wanted to write one day and the trips I wanted to take. The desire for those things never went away, but my longing heart was filled. Like an ocean wave spreading over the beach and leaving behind water in each indent of the sand, Christ's love overflowed and filled up not only my God-shaped hole, but my husband-shaped hole as well.

I finally experienced God as all-satisfying, as "all that I need," because I chose to believe what He said about Himself. Then I began to put this new-found tool into practice, this art of resting in the Lord. In the coming days and years, my heart would often fell empty again. In those moments, I learned to pull out God's promise and apply it by praising Him for it, putting my faith in it, and resting in His goodness until my longing soul was satisfied again.

My dear friend, do you have a husband-shaped hole in your heart? Or a children-shaped hole, or a hole for the kitchen of your dreams that is your very own? God's goodness can overflow enough to fill it. Have you chosen to actually believe that God is enough to satisfy you? Maybe you need to do what I did, and start praising Him for what you know to be true, even before you "feel" that it is. Jesus satisfies completely, but only when you let Him.

If you are struggling to experience the satisfaction of God for yourself, I encourage you to take some time today to get alone with God and just start praising Him for Who He is, what He's done, and what He's promised to do. Read some chapters in Psalms to give you fodder for praise.

All my life I had a longing

For a drink from some clear spring

That I hoped would quench the burning

Of the thirst I felt within.

Hallelujah! I have found Him,

Whom my soul so long has craved!

Jesus satisfied my longings

Through His blood I now am saved.

-Clara Williams, 1875

P.S. If you're desperate to experience this full satisfaction in Christ, but struggling to know how to walk in it daily, you need to work through my course. In it I teach you exactly how to live even your hardest day of longing with fullness of joy through the presence of God - resulting in a heart glowing with His peace. Check out the course.