What does God want you to do with your single years?

I've always been a dreamer. And one of my main dreams growing up was to be a wife and mother. When it didn't happen on my timeline, I had a bit of an identity crisis and wondered what in the world I was supposed to do with singleness?! I knew the blueprint for godly marriage: follow your husband's leadership, reverence him, be a keeper of my home and train children up in the way they should go.... but I had no clue what the blueprint was for singleness. What did God expect of me with this time in my life?

Finally I studied 1 Corinthians 7 and learned that singleness, like marriage, has a specific job description. Just as the married woman is to revere and submit to her husband and generally be concerned with "the things of the world, how she may please her husband," the unmarried woman is to be generally concerned with "the things that belong to the Lord, how [she] may please the Lord:" and being "holy both in body and in spirit:" (1 Cor. 7:34)

Some take this to mean that the only way to live out your job description as a single is to become a full-time missionary. And while this is a beautiful way to take advantage of your singleness, it doesn't have to be the path for everyone. Singleness devoted to the Lord can take on many different expressions. For one woman it might mean moving to Africa to work in an orphanage, for another it might mean staying at home to care for disabled parents. For another it might look like dedicating some free time to leading a bible study or helping a widow.

If you're wondering how God would have you to use your time in singleness, here are a few things to consider:

First ask yourself if you're doing the will of God that is already clearly outlined in scripture. For example:

• Keeping yourself from fornication.

  For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: 1 Thes. 4:3

• Offering thanksgiving continually

  In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thes. 5:18

• Renewing your mind in His Word

  This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. Joshua 1:8

Secondly, look at your abilities. What gifts, talents or skills has God blessed you with? What is something you're better at or more knowledgeable in than most people you know? What do you enjoy doing or learning? These are all things that can (and should!) be used for the Lord!

Dedicate your abilities, skills and interests to God. Ask Him to use them for His glory. Once you "commit your works to God" your "thoughts will be established." (Proverbs 16:23). In other words, when you commit yourself to the Lord's service, you'll start to look for ways to use your gifts for Him wherever possible. Do you love to bake? How about taking goodies to the neighbors and looking for opportunities to share the gospel with them?

Are you a good listener? Maybe a younger girl needs you for a mentor and prayer partner.

Do you love kids? Maybe you could start an after-school program in your town and teach children about Jesus.

Do you have a lot of knowledge about rocketry or gardening or grammar? Perhaps you could offer free tutoring or classes to families in your church who can't afford it, or for the children of missionaries.

Lastly, look for the need in front of you. Is there a lonely widow you can befriend? Is there an opening in a ministry at your church? Is there a Christian organization near you that could use some volunteers? Look for the openings that are already in front of you, take the step, and just be faithful.

Godly singleness doesn't need to be a cloistered, joyless or overwhelmingly busy life of burn out. It doesn't mean you can't create a life you enjoy, take breaks from ministering, or prioritize rest. It doesn't mean you must say yes to every request for a babysitter or every opportunity to serve at church. Godly singleness simply looks like having a heart to be used of God, and looking for ways to do that. It's having a life focus that is God-centric, not self-centric. It's using the free time that you would need to spend serving a husband or children to serve the Lord in some other way instead. It's pursuing God with your whole heart and soaking up time in His Word and prayer while you have more flexibility to do so.

If you knew that you only had one more year in singleness, or one more year until the Lord comes back, would your priorities look different? Would you be using your time in the same way you are now? Will you have any fruit to show for the time you spent as a single woman? You don't know how long you'll be blessed with this opportunity to "care for the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord." So use it to the fullest!