Should Single Women Read Romance Novels? (the answer might surprise you)

Please enjoy this guest post from the lovely Drew Taylor:

“Oh, be careful, little eyes, what you see.”

“Oh, be careful, little ears, what you hear.”

The words of a childhood church song reverberate around my mind as I search online

for my next romance novel to read.

Since joining the #bookstagram community, I’ve found countless closed-door options (books without sex scenes), promising all the sizzle with none of the spice.

At first, I was a junkie, consuming every single romance novel I could get my hands on. I would devour all the detailed kisses, physical affection, and descriptively written hot men without the guilt of reading a sex scene. But after a while, I felt empty. Lonely. Bitter. Every book I tried to read left me angry at God over my singleness. The Holy Spirit quietly convicted me with one innocent question: Why was I, a single Christian woman, seeking closed-door romance instead of open-door romance?

The answer brought me to my knees in repentance.

I was picking up closed-door romance searching for the same high as an open-door one. I was using closed-door romance to awaken and arouse sexual feelings without the guilt and stigma of on-page sex scenes. I was reading in anticipation of the physical scenes, enjoying it when the author pushed the closed-door boundaries because I could feel more. I was living vicariously through fictional characters because I hated the fact that I was in my late twenties and still single.

The Bible, dear Reader, calls this a sin. “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” - Song of Solomon 8:4

“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but

the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” - 1 Corinthians 6:18

“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil

desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” - Colossians 3:5

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” - Proverbs 4:23

The Word of God is brimming with verses warning us against sexual impurity, advising us to guard our hearts, and commanding us to put sin to death. As a single Christian woman, it is exceptionally important to heed these words lest we feed our flesh instead of feeding our spirit. Does this mean single Christian women shouldn’t read and enjoy romance novels? As Paul says, “By no means!”

It would be extremely hypocritical for me to advise that because I’m a Christian chick-lit romance novelist! (Yes, I’ve had to work through my “why” for writing in this genre as well!) However, we must check our hearts. We all need to ask ourselves: Why am I reading romance novels? Is it because we want to read a tantalizing, spicy kissing scene that goes everywhere but to the bedroom? Is it because we want to read about a sexy male character that we can fantasize over without the guilt of a sex scene? Is it to fill a void in our lives that we equate to a lack of a husband? If we answer yes, then we may be using closed-door romance for the same reasons others use open-door romance: to arouse sexual feelings when they are not ready to be awakened. As single Christian women, this can lead to anger, jealousy, and bitterness, which often feed into anxiety and depression as we pull ourselves away from God. It doesn’t have to be that way!

As for me, I now pick up closed-door romance for good storytelling, unique plots, and relatable characters. I choose a romance novel because it displays the love of God. I simply enjoy the sweetness of new romance and reading about the “falling in love” human experience, watching as two different characters work through their sins and issues to blend their lives. If a closed-door romance starts to make me blush too hard or pushes boundaries, I close it and find a new one. If the book stirs feelings of inadequacy or bitterness over my singleness, then I close it and find a new one. How did I get to this point?

I’ve changed the way I view romance through prayer, reading the Bible, having conversations with friends, and being intentional in my thought patterns. Romance is not just for married women or something that should be shunned; romance is the sunrise in the mornings. The long phone call with a friend. The laughter around a dinner table with family. The moment of sitting alone and sipping coffee on a Saturday morning. The collective worship of God with brothers and sisters in Christ on a Sunday

morning. And, yes, romance is the excitement and beauty of finding the person your heart leaps in the presence of.

Dear Reader, read romance to enjoy the wonders of a fictional escape while learning about the workings of the world through various worldviews different from your own. Read romance to kick your feet, grin, and squeal over swoony and sweet banter, gestures, and moments. Read romance to be reminded of the wondrous love of God through a fantasy world.

But remember to guard your heart and flee any inkling of temptation or bitterness.

Be careful, little eyes, what you see.

Be careful, little ear, what you hear.

Connect with me on Instagram @authordrewtaylor to learn more about why I write Christian chick-lit romance, reading recommendations, and personal stories surrounding whatever the Lord is teaching me at any given moment.