Surrendered Hope and Steady Joy

I thought I’d be married by now. Really, I thought I’d be married a long time ago—planning playdates, packing lunches, and figuring out how to make time for date night. That desire wasn’t something anyone pushed on me. It wasn’t pressure from the church or my family. I’ve just always loved children and longed to be a wife and a mom. That dream has felt stitched on my heart from the start. Even as I hoped for it, I never saw marriage as the only way to live a life of meaning, joy, or purpose.

Instead, the years have unfolded differently, in ways I never planned but have quietly grown to cherish. I’ve had the privilege of leading mission trips, mentoring younger women, equipping churches to better serve children and families, and capturing cherished moments through photography. I’ve shared meals and laughter with dear friends, and traveled for work sometimes lingering to enjoy the quiet in-between moments. I’ve also had the honor of showing up for my dad in this season after the devastating loss of my precious mom.

These life experiences and opportunities aren’t meant to be compared in value to the role of wife or mother. It all matters. But I’m genuinely thankful for what the Lord has allowed me to do in the meantime, and for the ways He’s given me to fill my days and serve, love, and grow right where I am.

Frequently, in the circles I’m in ask about marriage, usually kindly. I understand the question is considered a natural get-to-know-you inquiry—but I also feel its weight. Because when life doesn’t follow the timeline you once hoped for, those simple check-ins can stir something deeper in our spirits. A little pause as we consider how to respond and how much to say. The dream hasn’t disappeared, but I hold it more loosely now. It was never promised to me. And that’s ok. What was promised is that He is good. It’s possible for me to both pray about the hopes of my heart and surrender them back to Him. He is near. And He invites me to bear fruit in every season, not just the one I prayed for.

John 15:8 says, “By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” That’s what I want—whether married or single, seen or unseen, I want to serve Him with a full heart. I don’t want to wait for a different chapter to feel useful. I want to be found faithful right here, trusting that nothing is wasted in the hands of a faithful God.

This post was written by my friend Jo. If her writing blessed you, leave her some love in the comments!