Surrendering your desire for marriage doesn't mean squelching your desire for it, as if you were taking a fire hose to a flame. God doesn't ask us to deny our longing for marriage, ignore it, or pretend it doesn't exist, but only that we submit it to Him.
Being submitted doesn't mean that you can't desire or pursue marriage. It simply means you must pursue it with a heart posture that says,"And if not, Thy will be done." As you seek for the things you desire, you must be open to God changing your path and giving you something that He deems better.
Surrender often looks like taking your dearest dream in trembling hands and giving it to the One who is infinitely dearer. It looks like the woman with the alabaster box of precious ointment, breaking it at the feet of Jesus and worshipping Him with the surrender of her most prized possession. Surrender is giving up all claims on your life, and allowing God to ultimately do with you as He pleases.
The surrendered single woman is able to say with all her heart, "God, I want your best for me, whether that means lifelong singleness or marriage."
From that place of surrender, she can then prayerfully take steps towards marriage and see if God opens the doors. God will make His will clear to her as she takes steps and walks in the Spirit. The beautiful thing about surrender is that it gives God permission to have His perfect way with us; and wouldn't you rather have His perfect way than His second-best?
