When it feels like God is good to everyone else but you

One Wednesday evening I was sitting in church, listening to a missionary presentation. As pictures rolled across the screen of the excited young couple on their way to the mission field, waves of envy rolled across my heart. She got a handsome guy who wants to be a missionary. Why does she get to live my dream?! Another time, I was on Instagram and came across a beautiful young woman who was a friend of a friend. I scrolled her profile until I was positively green with envy. She seemed to have every thing I wanted in life. The longer I scrolled, the more my indignation grew. Why does it seem like God gives everyone else what I want - but doesn’t give it to me??

Sometime later, I thought God was finally giving me my dream. The guy seemed to be everything I wanted. But I was wrong. He wasn’t who I thought he was. I gave back the ring, cancelled the wedding, and cried. The questions flooded in...

Why would God let me fall in love only to have my heart shattered?

Why would He allow a broken engagement be a part of my story??

Why do other girls have it so easy?

I knew God was good to other people. But I wasn’t so sure if He was good to me. Until one Sunday morning, God set up a divine appointment for me in the nursery at church. I thought I was there to watch some babies, but God had me there for a different reason. Sitting in the rocking chair next to me was a young mom of three whose husband had recently died in a tragic accident. I observed her peaceful, happy attitude in amazement and wondered... how could she still be so happy after all that she’s been through? 

Somehow the conversation turned in such a way that she started sharing her story. She shared the questions she had  grappled with in the midst of her sorrow, and then she said something that made a light bulb turn on in my mind: “I finally just had to decide to believe that God is good.” 

Suddenly it all made sense. God had never stopped being good. I had just stopped choosing to believe it. I knew that if this woman had found peace in simply believing that God is what He says He is, then I could find it that way too.

And so, I started looking for God’s goodness. In the pages of scripture, in His glorious creation, and even in the tiniest daily blessings of life. The Bible says that “Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.” (Rom. 10:17) My faith in God’s character grew immensely as I looked for  it in His Word, and “heard” the truth of Who he is over and over in its verses. Eventually my faith became strong enough that I could praise God for His goodness without an inkling of doubt. I could see His goodness displayed in every tree, every sunset, and even, yes, even in the happy relationships I observed around me.

When it feels like God is good to everyone else but you, here is what you need to do: 

1.) Remind your heart that God’s goodness isn’t just measured by what He gives, but by Who He is. He is good no matter what our circumstances are.

2.) Strengthen your faith in His character by looking for His attributes in scripture. Every chapter of the Bible tells you something about God’s nature. Find what it is and meditate on it! 

3.) Praise Him for His goodness to you. You deserve His wrath because of your sin, yet He’s poured out innumerable blessings on your life. Thank Him for the good gifts He’s given you.

David was forsaken by friends and hunted for his life, yet He said this about God: “...I follow the thing that good is.” (Psalm 38:20) Are you able to rejoice in the same? This evil world is cruel and unfair. The wicked will prosper, the righteous will suffer, good desires will go unmet, and trials will come.

But God is the very thing that good is.

When life isn’t looking good, choose to trust in the One who is. It was never God's will that you should experience pain, but thanks to sin, we do experience it. It's God's goodness that will bring you through it. It's God's goodness that will faithfully and patiently be loving you every moment of your life, even when you blame Him, refuse to trust Him, and run from Him. It's God's goodness that will eventually turn even your darkest day into a blessing, because He works all things together for good for His child.

When life isn’t looking good, choose to trust in the One who is.

P.S. If you struggle to trust that God is good, even in lifelong singleness, I encourage you to work through my course. In it I teach you to delight in the Lord with all your heart, so that you live each day amazed by His goodness no matter your circumstances. Use code CAPTIVE10 for 10% off.