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Writer's pictureMadison

The Gift of Singleness is not a Supernatural Lack of Desire for Marriage and Sex




Somehow we get this idea that the only people meant to be single are the ones who have a special spiritual "talent" to not desire marriage or sex.


But friend, if you greatly desire those things, yet God seems to have you single right now, please know that He has not made a mistake with you!


You don't need a supernatural "gifting" in order to live a happy single (or married!) life. You need the daily strength and power of God.


The gift of singleness is not a spiritual superpower that only certain special people are born with. It's the gift of a way of life. It's the state God has given some of us to live out our calling of glorifying Him: just as He has given some the state of marriage for the same purpose.


The gift of singleness is not a superhuman talent for the select few, but a way to live out the Christian life for anyone who finds themselves single.


Singleness is a gift in that it's the state in which God has given you to move through the world. It is the condition and circumstance in which you operate - like living in a blue house, or having brown hair. It's a way of existing, a circumstance, not a superpower. And like switching houses or dying your hair, it's a state that you can seek to change if God allows.


If the gift of singleness equated to a lack of desire for marriage and sex, then we would be able to blame our discontentment in singleness on the fact that we don't have "the gift" for it. But in reality, if we are single, then we have the gift (state) of singleness, and we have all we need in Christ to be able to live it joyfully and victoriously.


Even if we desperately desire marriage, sex, children, etc... God has not made a mistake in giving us the gift of singleness. This should be a great comfort to us! We don't need a supernatural "gifting" to be content and joyful in singleness... we simply need the grace of Christ, which enables us to live the Christian life regardless of our marital status.


Singleness isn't a supernatural talent, but it does require supernatural power. Marriage also isn't a supernatural talent, but it requires supernatural power. No matter what state we are in, we badly need the power of God to help us live it as we ought.


And, don't forget, having the gift of singleness doesn't mean that you must stay in this state forever. If you have a desire for the gift of marriage, you have the freedom to pursue it in a godly way. God is more than capable of crossing your path with a great guy to marry. Just as He is also more than capable of helping you live a happy and fulfilling single life.


(written when I had the gift of singleness)




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