How God Paid off My $30K Debt, Led me to Ukraine, and Comforts Me in Heartbreak: Miriam's Story

My name is Miriam Rue. I’m 29, single, and doing my best to serve the Lord on the same mission field I was born into — Ukraine.

I could share my full testimony, going back to childhood — the struggles, mistakes, growth, and blessings I’ve experienced. But for this, I want to focus on just the last few years, in hopes of encouraging some of you young women who, like me, wrestle with loneliness, doubts about the future, and the instability that can come with singleness.

In 2022, my family and I returned to the States for what we thought would be a short furlough.

Due to the war in Ukraine — and ultimately the Lord’s guidance — we ended up staying in the United States for three years.

I was hopeful. I had been praying, staying faithful, and keeping my heart open to the Lord’s will. In my mind, this time in the States was finally my chance to meet someone — someone to serve the Lord alongside. (Not sure if y’all know this, but as scarce as good Bible-believing Baptist men are in

the States, they’re even rarer in Ukraine!)

While much was unclear, I held on to several truths:

1. I am most miserable without the Lord, and I am happiest when I draw close to Him.

2. I’ve known what it’s like to be in the wrong relationship — and I would rather live a

lifetime of loneliness and freedom to serve God than give my heart to someone who

would abuse my love and pull me away from Him.

3. I’ve been blessed with the leadership of a godly father. I’ve followed him, loved him as a

daughter, and trusted him to guide me in service to the Lord. I want a husband I can trust

in the same way — to whom I can transfer that headship without reserve.

I was excited, in my mind my time of waiting was over, I had struggled, sacrificed, made some mistakes and fallen from grace but picked myself back up and got back to work, I was under the blood, and now it was my time to finally be a wife and mother, something I never spoke of but always longed for.

As we settled into furlough and began taking meetings, another possibility occurred to me — one

I didn’t like as much. What if God was calling me to go back to Ukraine alone to serve with my family?

As a 26-year-old missionary kid who had already willingly given her early 20s to that very ministry, I think you’ll give me some grace when I say — I shrank from that possibility. Surely not. Surely the Lord hadn’t given me such a strong desire for marriage just to keep me single this much longer.

And yet, the Lord continued to deal with me. My desire to serve Him, no matter what, stayed steady. And though several godly young men expressed interest over those years, I never had peace. Each “no” got harder, especially as time ticked on.

I argued with myself — and with God (I’m sure none of you have ever done that):

“I have no way to earn money in Ukraine. I still have student loans. It wouldn’t be wise — or

good stewardship — to run off with no plan to pay them back. I need to pay off ALL $30K before

I can even think about going back to Ukraine!”

But the Lord provided a job. Then a second. Then a third.

They weren’t glamorous — pressure washing stadiums, cleaning windows on five-story buildings, nannying disabled individuals — but God used them to prepare my heart and mind. Ukraine no longer felt like a burden. It became a goal — a terrifying one, yes, but one that came from the God I’ve learned to trust with everything.

I kept doing what I knew to do: work, pay off debt, stay ready and willing. But I still worried. I still wasn’t sure where He wanted me. The thought of these precious years not counting for the Lord terrified me. That fear can be paralyzing.

Then, at one particular missions conference, I met a deacon who worked with chalk talks — specifically blacklight chalk. The Lord has blessed me with artistic talent, which I’ve used for tracts, Sunday school curriculums, children’s books, and evangelistic materials. So I was instantly excited at the idea of using blacklight chalk to reach souls in Ukraine. I asked questions, soaked it all in — but knew the materials were expensive. My money was tied up in debt. So I tucked the idea away: “Maybe one day.”

Well — at the end of that very week, a missionary came up to me and said, “You ready to go?”

I blinked. “Go where?”

He pulled out a full set of blacklight chalk materials — chalk, blacklight, paper.

“The Lord told me to give these to you,” he said. “I’ve had them for years and never used them.”

I hadn’t told a single soul.

I've heard it said, and now I say it to you emphatically: God is not the author of confusion.

He will make His will clear — but you must be watching and ready when He chooses to reveal it.

Fast forward...

Many closed doors. Many heartbreaks. But eventually, the green light: my family was heading back to Ukraine. I had made huge progress on my student loans. I had peace that God wanted me to go, too.

But I still owed $6,000.

My heart broke. I didn’t want to stay behind. I told the Lord I would keep working until I could

go — trusting that He works all things together for good.

Then, at another meeting, a pastor who is very dear to our family came up to me and asked me

what my life plans were for the future. I gave him a general overview of my plans to stay in the States and work my loans off, then returning to Ukraine afterwards. He responded by telling me to consider

them paid off.

Two weeks later, I was financially free to serve the Lord.

I shared a short post on Facebook, praising God — and the next day, an old family friend called. They had seen the post and said the Lord had laid it on their heart to buy my plane ticket and give monthly support. When I say the Lord is able to do exceeding abundantly above all we ask or think — I say it with

full confidence and from experience.

Today, I’m writing this from my room in Ukraine.

To be completely transparent — my future still feels uncertain. I’m scared sometimes.

Yes, being here is risky.

Yes, this is an active war zone.

Yes, I’m a single woman.

I get lonely.

I cry alone sometimes.

I feel like life has passed me by — like I’m running in place while others are moving forward.

The chances of meeting “the one” here? Slim. I’ve accepted that. And no, it’s not an easy thing to accept. I have to give that Isaac up to the Lord sometimes multiple times a day.

But I’ve seen the Lord work in ways I never would have experienced had I “played it safe.”

And while the world may say I’ve wasted my potential…

While I’ve heard people say I’m falling behind…

I keep pulling away the layers — the external voices, the emotions, the internal doubts — and I cling to the moments I know the Lord was present and working in my life.

It’s in those moments that I find peace. It’s in those moments I know —

I am exactly where I’m meant to be.

So let me encourage you: If you're struggling with doubt, temptation, or loneliness — cling to what you know is true.

Take the next step of faith.

And remember:

God is not the author of confusion.

If things seem unclear right now, be still — and trust Him until He sheds light on the next step.

Luke 16:10 — “He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much.”

Hebrews 11:1 — “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not

seen.”

Hebrews 11:6 — “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God

must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

-Miriam Rue