Fear that You've Failed when You're Single at 30

Please enjoy this guest post from a sweet sister who wanted to remain anonymous:

Hi ladies,

I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to Madison for her recent message. It was like water to a weary heart. Her words about the quiet ache and loneliness that can come with being single during the holidays met me exactly where I was.

There are moments, sometimes entire evenings, when it hits in waves: the fear that somehow I’ve failed because I’m still single at 30. Like I must have done something wrong. Like I missed my moment. And of course, the well-meaning comments from others don’t always help “You just need to get out more,” or “Why not try a Christian dating app?” as if marriage is a vending machine and I’ve just been pressing the wrong buttons.

But what many don’t understand is that the desire to wait on God—to let Him write this story in His time, His way; it isn’t a wish. It’s a conviction. One that runs deep. And explaining that personal conviction to others can feel like trying to speak a language no one else hears. So I’ve stopped explaining. I’ve stopped apologizing for this season as if it’s something I need to justify.

Still, I won’t lie. There are days it stings. Days when I see girls ten years younger than me, ones I used to teach in Sunday school getting married, starting families… while I’m over here trying to collect enough points on my coffee app for a free drink.

Last night was one of those harder nights. The fear whispered louder than usual. What if I missed it? What if I did something wrong? What if God is saying no, and this is it? Fear can be suffocating. And then the guilt sets in for doubting God's faithfulness. It's a relentless back-and-forth.

But this morning, God met me. I’ve been studying Esther, and I landed in chapter 6 where King Xerxes is reading the records and finds the account of Mordecai’s loyalty, just as Haman walks in to carry out his evil plot. And then, in a moment, everything shifts.

What overwhelmed me wasn’t just the drama of the moment, but the timing. God’s sovereignty played out minute by minute. Haman came in to destroy… but God flipped the script.

It reminded me of something someone once told me that because I’m not “putting myself out there” in faith and trying to make myself more open to any man, I might miss my moment. But that’s simply not true. God doesn’t need my striving. He doesn’t need my plans. His will is never dependent on my hustle. His plans cannot be thwarted.

So yes, this season of singleness is hard, especially during the holidays. But I’m learning to rest in the truth that when God moves, it will be in His perfect moment. Nothing and no one can interrupt that.

To every woman who is still waiting, especially if you're walking through this season quietly, maybe with a little ache in your heart, know this: you are not forgotten. You are not behind. You are not overlooked. And you are not alone.

And Madison-thank you. Your message was the first in a long time that didn’t just coat the pain in glitter. It pointed me back to Christ. It reminded me that hope isn’t about hype and "girl power", it’s about Him. Your words were full of Scripture, full of truth, and full of the kind of encouragement that lingers long after it’s read. I’m so grateful for your heart, your ministry, and your voice.

In Christ,

A.P