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At what point should you stop preparing for marriage and start preparing to be single?

(This post was written by Madison as a single woman and shared originally on Instagram.)

Many of us grew up preparing to be good wives and mothers one day. But now that the years are passing us by, we find ourselves wondering: at what point do I stop preparing for marriage, and start preparing to be single? Here's the answer: we should have been preparing for both all along.

Since both marriage and singleness are blessed ways to live out the Christian life, and since we aren't guaranteed which state God will gift us or how long He will keep us there, we should have been prepared for either option to be the story of our lives.

Maybe if we had a more biblical understanding of marriage and singleness, we single women wouldn't be struggling so much to make sense of our state. Maybe if we hadn't poured all our efforts into preparing for marriage, we would have been better equipped to thrive in the gift of singleness.

We ought to be ready mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally, not just to be a godly wife and mom, but also to be a godly single woman. Instead of practicing the art of cooking or diaper changing just so we can be a good wife and mother someday, how about we practice them so we can be a good servant of Christ wherever He places us? God can use our

feminine skills to bless a friend, neighbor, church or community just as much as He can use them to bless a husband and children.

For too long we'e been putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable. We should be emphasizing Christ more than we emphasize the states He's created. He is what makes us happy and fulfilled, not the attainment of marriage or singleness.

Paul did not say "for me to live is marriage." He did not say "for me to live is singleness." He said "for me to live is Christ." If Christ is our life, it should matter less to us whether He wants us to serve Him married or single....and mean everything to us to put a smile on His face.

Single woman, I believe you should prepare your heart, mind, finances and skills for both marriage and singleness. Focus on the big picture - pleasing God - more than on the exact route you will take to get there. Become a godly and multi-skilled woman for the cause of Christ, not just for the cause of marriage preparation.

We ought to prepare for both marriage and singleness by making Christ our life. Life is probably not going to unfold how we imagined it would as a child. It's best to make Him the supreme focus of our lives - not which particular state we're in.

You could get married but then become a widow. You could be single for a long time and eventually get married. You could be married till the day you die, or you could never get married at all. But one thing remains constant in all the possibilities: whatever state you're in, Christ is all that's worth living for.

If the Lord blesses us with daughters one day, let us ingrain into their hearts the wonder and fullness of Christ. So much so, that they care less about what state He asks them to walk in, and more about simply getting to walk with Him! Let's lessen the wonder of marriage and singleness, and increase the wonder of getting to a smile on our Beloved's face.

Put your focus wholly on pleasing the Lord. Make Christ your life. And prepare for both.

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This is so good. I have never thought of preparing for singleness. I have definatly spent most of my life dreaming, planning and preparing for marriage. But this season and gift of singleness is just as important to God, so it should be to me too.

Mar 14
Replying to

I totally hear you. I think it's a mindset that a lot conservative christian young women have. Of course its not wrong to desire marriage and prepare for it!! But it's a bit lopsided when we consider how God talks about singleness in a good light as well. - Madison


Feb 24
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Amen! Needed this today!

Mar 14
Replying to

What a blessing! Thank you for sharing! - Madison

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